When a young wastrel’s rich aunt tells him that he must get married or she will cut him off, he pretends to have done so but then flies into a panic when she threatens to visit and meet the missus. The only possible solution is a dab of cross-dressing.
Home Media Availability: Stream courtesy of EYE.
Wig Snatched
One of the most venerable comedy tropes is the classic “You get the dough provided you’re married” setup. It leaves the protagonist (or their family) scrambling for a spouse so they won’t lose out on the money. The French Eclair company, working in tandem with Universal, tackled the problem with a bit of innovation and the theft of an entire wardrobe in Wanted: A Wife in a Hurry.
Norton (Lamar Johnstone) is living well on Aunt Mary’s money but she is tired of supporting his bachelor lifestyle. His friend and neigbor, Baxter (George Larkin) sees that Norton is depressed by his aunt’s letter and suggests that he just claim that he has married. I mean, it’s not like Aunt Mary will actually make the trip to check on the story, right? Right?
Despite obvious flaws in the plan, Norton follows Baxter’s advice and claims to have already married. He is then shocked when Aunt Mary replies by letter that she will be visiting him to meet the wife. Norton flies off in a panic, rushing to propose to a young women he fancies, failing to notice that her actual boyfriend is in the midst of his own proposal. Norton soon finds himself out on his ear.
Now, I think we can all agree that if a young man wants to marry one young lady, he probably should not have a backup choice all ready to go and yet that is the case for Norton. He takes his lumps and rushes to the home of lovely Miss Second Choice. She knows the score too and turns him down flat. He gets heated, she brings in her father and Norton soon finds himself once again thrown out by the seat of his pants.
With both proposals a bust and all out of young women in his little black book, Norton returns home but then has another bright idea. Baxter was the one who suggested he pretend to be married, it’s really his responsibility! And, as a married man, he has access to dresses, hats and wigs to complete the illusion… It’s so crazy it just might work! Yes, Norton wants Baxter to pretend to be his wife while auntie is visiting.
Norton and his other friends drag Baxter next door to his own home– the wife is out shopping– and strip the closet and dresser of all items to take back to Norton’s house with them. Soon, Baxter is decked out in a dress and wig and not terribly happy about it.
Meanwhile, his wife has come home and, seeing her bedroom burgled and all her things missing, rushes out to investigate. Baxter panics and hides in the closet while Norton plays it cool. It’s all fun and games until Mrs. Baxter calls the police.
Everything is exposed immediately, of course, Mrs. Baxter snatches her wig off her husband’s head and drags him home by the ear. I certainly hope that she forbids her husband from associating with the overgrown frat boys next door but it looks like he might be incorrigible.
The very end of the film is missing in this print but, per period summaries, the story ends with Norton receiving word from his aunt that she isn’t coming to visit him after all, so the entire exercise was completely pointless. A classic comedy sad trombone ending.
Well, that was fun! Nobody in this picture displays a shred of common sense and nobody is particularly likable but that was kind of the point. Some comedies are just about people stepping on a rake after being specifically warned about the dangers. It’s on the prim side and I imagine a French team would have been able to get a lot more oo la la with the material but George Larkin’s awkwardness in drag has its own charm. (The director is not identified.)
Trade reviews of the picture were generally positive. Moving Picture World particularly praised it for its farcical tone, saying that the picture “comes as a sort of relief after so many, many of the plays of female impersonators wherein our credulity is taxed to its uttermost to believe that a man “could get away with it.” In this clever little comedy there is the female impersonation but it doesn’t even hint at belief.” Moving Picture News calls it “one of the best comedies we have seen for some time. It is real fun without the appearance of the writer or the players having worked overtime to get in the comedy.”
However, a second review in Moving Picture World is more critical, praising the tone but taking exception to the premise. “Everybody knows that there are preposterous people in the world, and the fun in such a situation depends on keeping up the illusion that the hero is surely one of these. When it is worked out, as in this picture, with the help of a man impersonating a woman, as the wife, it is hard to keep up the illusion. The plot of this picture shows much care; but not enough to make it really live. The first part promises well, but the action quickly becomes unbelievable. It is speedy and very well acted; but it won’t entertain the critical.”
I think that the first part of the review (some people are ridiculous, our heroes are among them) explains why the unconvincing drag works in this context. After all, Norton just spent the evening proposing to two very uninterested women, of course he’s not going to be the best judge of what would or would not convince Aunt Mary. In fact, Baxter’s ineptitude is part of the gag. The plan never had a prayer of succeeding and the only thing that saved the day was the fortuitously canceled visit.
Wanted: A Wife in a Hurry is a cute little trifle that was never meant to be stand up to fact-checking or scrutiny. All the men in the film are complete airheads and could easily be amused by someone writing “Please turn over” on both side of a piece of paper. It’s funny, light entertainment meant to provide some giggles for a night at the nickelodeon and it succeeds.
Where can I see it?
Stream courtesy of EYE with Dutch subtitles but the plot is easy enough to follow.
☙❦❧
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