I previously posted this in three parts. Here are all the story cards in one easy post.
Why bother to really watch a movie when you have all the tools on hand to pretend that you watched it! Here is the quick and easy guide to The Sheik, Valentino’s signature film (for better or for worse).
Him: You’re cute.
Her: I am culturally, morally and ethnically superior. (pulls gun)
Him: We can settle this debate in the desert– OF LOVE! (grabs her and carries her off to his tent)
Her: Unhand me, you brute! (starts crying)
Him: You shall be my bride, my little calzone!
Her: No, no, a thousand times no! (continues weeping)
Him: She’s upset? But why? Just for that, I’m picking out all her outfits for a week.
Her: Listen, Coco Chanel, I hate you and your stupid cigarette holder.
Him: But I can sing! La la la la la! And, my best friend is coming for a visit.
Her: That’s the last straw. I’m outta here. Oof! Or not.
Him: Hey, what’s the idea? If you had escaped, you would have gotten away!
Her: Just for that, I’m wearing my ugliest dress.
Him: Don’t be mad! I have a present for you! A gun! (gives her a gun)
Her: Golly, he’s not so bad after all.
Him: (to himself) Why isn’t it any fun to annoy her? I’m usually into that sort of thing.
Her: Help! Help! I’ve been kidnapped by someone less handsome than you!
Him: Unhand her, you brute! (gets bashed on head in the process)
Her: Thanks for saving me. Sorry they bashed you on the head and whatnot…
Him: And I’m not even an Arab really!
Her: Oh, you silly bunny! I knew the whole time you were Italian.
Her: Whatever. (kisses him)